Boat Dudes

Whether they're wearing pastel cut off jeans that bare their ankles or sport straw fedoras upon their heads, "Boat Dudes" have become one of most trending looks this summer. Not many males can pull off this ridiculous hipster fashion; however, a few daring hipsters have gone ahead and attempted this look. And now I am here to put them on the spot, because that is what I do.

Now most of you may be asking me, "What the hell is a 'Boat Dude'?



That is why I am here. I am here to give you the definition of what a Boat Dude is, and some simple guidelines on how to spot one.

Boat Dudes     noun boe-a-t- dood        
A trendy, hipster looking male who specifically sports pastel cut off shorts/skinny jeans that bare their ankles, a fedora and moccasins. He enjoys being by the beach, even if he hates the water or doesn't live near one, and is usually an aspiring male model (and if he's not, then hes always playing with his hair like he is one).








Does that clear it up for you now? How many Boat Dudes do YOU know?

This ridiculous look has not only made me look down upon the artistic side of the male species, but has also given me hope for my own fashion sense. I always find an article of their clothing that I adopt a liking to, and imagine how it would look on me. Whether it is their straight legged pastel jeans, or their trendy-looking unisex sunglasses.

Let us be honest ladies, we do not want a man that looks any better than us, pampers themselves more than us, or actually excels at being a better fashionista than us. It makes us very upset. That is why we need to take the initiative and let these idiots know that they need to tone it down a bit. Maybe put on a flannel, or put some socks on under those moccasins. For Heaven's sake be at the beach to get a tan and not just to look good! Are these Boat Dudes living in a fantasy world? Thinking that they can get away with picking up a girl while they walk around with no socks on? Please!







How to Spot a Boat Dude

The most common misconceptions that people have about Boat Dudes are that just because they are  incredibly fashionable, that they must be gay. But I am here to tell you that this simply is not true.

A few years ago, one of my friends had a limo party and invited a bunch of different people including me, my boyfriend, a boat dude and two female hookers. This boat dude was by no means gay. In fact, he seem to have been hitting on every single chick in that limo, aside from me, because I hate Boat Dudes. Anyway, this guy ended up getting laid by pretty much the whole limo- besides my boyfriend and I, who actually stayed classy and had sex inside the limo.







Some items of clothing all Boat Dudes are complete with include:

• A fashionable and uncomfortable  pair of moccasins
• A pair of fashionable and uncomfortable skinny jeans showing his ankles- pastel or denim
• Or a pair of cut off shorts, right before the knee- pastel or denim
• A blazer
• A scarf
• A fedora hat

                                                     And there you have it, a Boat Dude.

What do you think of Boat Dudes? I'm sure everyone has their very own taste in men. Let's hear yours! Comment below. :-)